We’re still working on our kitchen. Yesterday we—well, not “we” exactly—moved two large book cases out in anticipation of painting. These hadn’t been moved since 1991.
Once the book cases were moved out, left behind were:
- 1 pilgrim hat, made of construction paper and hand painted by a pre-schooler
- 1 metal end from a bolo tie (owned by same preschooler)
- 1 birthday party goodie bag with some contents remaining
- 1 Ziploc bag containing two Tootsie Pops, a mini box of raisins and a large plastic eyeball
- 19 years’ worth of dust bunnies
This past couple of weeks have been a time of major purging at my house. In preparation for a major home improvement project—installation of central air conditioning—my husband and I have been going through 20 years’ worth of attic accumulation and carrying clutter and memories out the door.
This week we donated our son’s baby furniture, equipment and worn stuffed animals to charity. Yesterday, we said good bye to six window unit air conditioners. Serious purging.
Still, there remains a large bin in our basement that has gone untouched for 20 years. We were never quite sure what to do with its contents. Until now.
I have an idea for turning clutter into cash—by selling Happy Meal toys on street corners in San Francisco. Once the Board of Supervisors’ ban on offering free toys with junk food takes effect, I’ll hit up parents leaving McDonald’s with their kids in mid-meltdown, revealing plastic characters, from Aladdin to Zazu, nestled in the lining of my trench coat.
Will the ban make a difference, you wonder? I don’t know. I think kids get hooked on McDonald’s because it tastes better than Mom’s meatloaf and brussels sprouts. The Happy Meal wasn’t introduced until I was in college, after I’d been already been hooked on McDonald’s fries and chocolate shakes for more than 10 years. And hot apple pie before they banned frying it in lard. It never took a plastic Disney character to lure me over to the dark side.
Psst, need to score a Nemo? I can hook you up.