The meal deal

This past couple of weeks have been a time of major purging at my house. In preparation for a major home improvement project—installation of central air conditioning—my husband and I have been going through 20 years’ worth of attic accumulation and carrying clutter and memories out the door.

This week we donated our son’s baby furniture, equipment and worn stuffed animals to charity. Yesterday, we said good bye to six window unit air conditioners. Serious purging.

Still, there remains a large bin in our basement that has gone untouched for 20 years. We were never quite sure what to do with its contents. Until now.

I have an idea for turning clutter into cash—by selling Happy Meal toys on street corners in San Francisco. Once the Board of Supervisors’ ban on offering free toys with junk food takes effect, I’ll hit up parents leaving McDonald’s with their kids in mid-meltdown, revealing plastic characters, from Aladdin to Zazu, nestled in the lining of my trench coat.

Will the ban make a difference, you wonder? I don’t know. I think kids get hooked on McDonald’s because it tastes better than Mom’s meatloaf and brussels sprouts. The Happy Meal wasn’t introduced until I was in college, after I’d been already been hooked on McDonald’s fries and chocolate shakes for more than 10 years. And hot apple pie before they banned frying it in lard. It never took a plastic Disney character to lure me over to the dark side.

 Psst, need to score a Nemo? I can hook you up.

10 Comments

Filed under Food, Health, Marketing/Advertising/PR, News, Politics

10 responses to “The meal deal

  1. Marty

    I can see right now that I must hide my collections of restaurant matches and old snuff cans.

  2. Pat Abrams

    Monica, please don’t touch one thing in your attic. I love to browse through all the memorabilia. This was a very funny blog.

  3. Pat Abrams

    Monica, please don’t touch one thing in your attic. It is more exciting than a museum and this was a very funny blog.

  4. Sharon

    I don’t see what all the fuss is about. If the ban goes through, couldn’t San Francisco McDonald’s restaurants just reduce the price of a Happy Meal by 50 cents and then offer a toy for an extra 50 cents?
    In other words, “would you like a toy with your Happy Meal?” Am I missing something?

  5. Emily Basca

    We never realized how often our parents stopped at fast food spots until last year’s Christmas Yankee Swap when ornaments were exchanged and many included toys from happy meals!

  6. Sheree

    The purging appeals to me. Lately I find myself watching Hoarders just to motivate myself the throw things away! As for the Happy Meals – I can just see you in that trench coat making the lives of those parents with melted down children “Happy” again!

  7. chris

    OH NO!!

    This purge? Does it mark the end of the Pussy Cat Lounge as we know and love it?

  8. Pingback: Pussycat pussycat « Word Nymph

  9. Carmen

    You have my utmost admiration! We had to move about 10 years ago to force ourselves to perform the mighty purge. New central A/C is a much less expensive option!

  10. Deirdre

    Sounds like a winner. Years ago while visiting my sister, I gave her the bright idea putting those Happy Meal toys into goodie bags for a neighborhood St. Patrick’s day party. When my nephew discovered all his friends (and cousins) walking around with his toys, he was not happy. I can still hear the screams. My sister had to leave her own party for an emergency Toys R Us run for a new GI Joe.

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