Venus and Mars

This one goes out to the guys, but gals, pay attention; this may help you too.

My husband has decided to clean out his side of the medicine cabinet. In an act of kindness and generosity, today he offered to yield some real estate to me. He knows women need more space, but I know he wonders why.

Olay Micro Sculpting Serum

I’ve heard many a man bemoan the fact that his missus takes up disproportionate space in the bathroom and bedroom with her mysterious self maintenance gear. I know couples who have engaged in warfare, usually waged by an encroached-upon mister trying to reclaim his rightful flossing zone.

I maintain that the root of the decades-old gender conflict is a simple lack of understanding. And–unlike the self tanner we chickadees apply at the first sign of spring–it’s natural.

Is there any wonder? A random pluck from my own shelf surfaced “Night Recovery Cream.”

Perhaps men wouldn’t shake their heads and their fists at our products if they understood—in their terms—what each one was for.

For the educational benefit of the males, I’ve contemplated the contents of the Venus side of the cabinet—or tool shed—and tried to put them into a context a Martian might better appreciate:

pore minimizer spackle
foundation paint and primer in one
exfoliator sander
self tanner stain
hydrating body gloss shellac
lip liner painting tape
anti-gravity lift cream ceiling paint
Nair® weed killer
tweezers weed whacker
PedEgg™ lathe
foot smoothing cream foot smoothing cream. Would it kill you to use it?

Would anyone care to put on an addition?

9 Comments

Filed under All Things Wordish, Beauty and Fashion

9 responses to “Venus and Mars

  1. Annemarie

    Brilliant!

  2. Jo Turner

    You REALLY have all that? At my stage of the game, anti-gravity lift cream would need the help of a winch. (I could be the winch wench?)

  3. Dennis Jones

    So enlightening. Now put the his-her closet dimensions into similarly clear terms.

  4. Mom

    Love it! Just wait though — by the time you reach my age you’ll need two medicine cabinets.

  5. Is it true that duct tape is a good substitute for hot wax?

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