On March 9, 1959, the first Barbie doll was introduced, which makes the ol’ gal 52. I too was launched in 1959, later in the year, which makes us the same age.
Over the decades, Barbie’s clothing, hairstyles, accessories and cars have been updated with the times. The only thing about Barbie that hasn’t been updated is, well, Barbie. Granted, Barbie’s waist has been widened in more recent versions of the doll, but that’s about her only visible sign of middle age.
But for a modest abdominal spread, she’s still the same taut little thing she was 52 years ago. One might say she’s Mattel’s very own Dorian Gray.
If we’re the same age, where are her spider veins, bunions and silver roots? She’s obviously taken good care of herself, but she’s only human. Hasn’t she had kids? She might do more Jazzercise than the average doll, but still, where are the ripples around her c-section scar, or are they hidden under her little Barbie Spanx?
Isn’t it about time Mattel introduced Quinquagenarian Barbie, wearing tiny progressive lenses, just to give today’s little girls a realistic image of life as it happens? With modern technology, I bet they could tint her face with a bright red glow that flashes on and off throughout the day. Battery-operated fan not included.