This week I made the unfortunate discovery that I left both my hair dryer and my straightening iron at our beach rental. Chances are slim that I’ll ever see them again so, to get this mop of mine under control, I went out and replaced them.
I went to a good salon and invested in the deluxe Chi Ceramic Hair Styling Iron (because I might want to curl my hair after I straighten it).
I brought it home, pulled it out of the box and consulted the instruction booklet.
Under Safety Instructions it said, “Never use while sleeping.”
I am aware that some people walk and talk in their sleep, but style their hair?
Just because it was right there, I pulled out the booklet for the blow dryer, manufactured by a different company. “Never use while sleeping.”
Now there are lots of women who wish we could wake up in the morning fully coiffed for the day, but I doubt we’ve ever considered doing our hair before we wake up.
I couldn’t resist going through the drawer in our house where we keep all our appliance paperwork, to see what else jumped out. “Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.” Darn, now I’ll have to buy a swing set.
No doubt the Internet is brimming with examples of silly safety warnings. Do you have any of your own?
Reminder: Word Nymph takes Sundays off. Wonder if she’ll wake up for church tomorrow with a beautifully styled do.
Word Nymph 
sitting next to me right now at the front desk is a hair dryer and a straightening iron that one of the guests from last weekend left here. Shall I bring them with me to NY?
Maybe there are just a few in the universe that are shifting about. This was my karma for taking home the full bottle of Elizabeth Arden Red Door (one of my favorite fragrances) that the previous renters had left behind.
My favorite warning comes on the side of a 5 gallon Walmart bait bucket. Just a red circle and slash over a crawling kid: “No babies.”
Tom and I can’t take a dry cleaning bag off the hanger without warning each other, “This is not a toy.”