Monthly Archives: May 2010

May 7, 2010 · 7:44 am

Chain-free zone

Good morning and greetings from Boone, North Carolina.

My husband and I are here for our son’s graduation from Appalachian State University.  I just couldn’t let the festivities begin without telling you a little about this charming place, where we’ve been coming a couple of times a year for the past four years.

Not everyone knows about Boone or Appalachian State.  App State entered the national consciousness in 2007 when its then-two-time Division I-AA national championship football team beat the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor in the season opener.  It was the largest upset in college football history and landed the Mountaineers on the cover of Sports Illustrated.  Later in the season, they won the championship for the third year in a row.

Appalachian State sits high in the Blue Ridge Mountains of western North Carolina, in what’s known as the Ski Capital of the South.  The student population is about 15,000.  One of the institution’s most famous alumni is Steven J. Dubner, co-author of Freakonomics.

Boone itself is artsy and bohemian.  It’s surrounded by a number of elite resorts, so there’s a cultural dichotomy that sometimes causes friction on the local political scene.

I think what stands out most about downtown Boone is the absence of chain stores and restaurants.  Up and down King Street, Boone’s main avenue, you’ll find one character-filled small business after another.

On King Street, you’ll find no Gap; just The Jean Pool.  There’s no Abercrombie; there’s the Mast General Store.   I was sad to see that the second-hand store, Love Me Two Times, has closed its doors.  There’s no CVS; just Boone Drug, which still has a lunch counter.  There’s no Panera; it’s Our Daily Bread.  There’s no Hair Cuttery; there’s Split Endz.  No Starbucks, only Higher Grounds and The Beanstalk.  No Chipotle; only Black Cat Burrito. The closest Chili’s is an hour away, which is fine because there’s the The Boone Saloon.   And if are you are looking for a cheap place to stay on King Street, you’ll find no Days Inn; only a nondescript  motel with a sign that reads:  2 people 1 bed $29.

What more can I say?

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May 6, 2010 · 7:47 am

Wormhole in the empty nest

I have waited 21 years to say this:  my son is graduating from college this weekend. 

It is hard to reflect without cliché.  So I won’t wonder where the time went.  Not exactly anyway. 

Instead, I’d like to send a message to parents who might be preparing for an empty nest in the coming months.  It’s a tough thing to say goodbye to your baby, who at times might also be acting like a three-headed adolescent monster, bless his heart.

Four years ago I thought my life had ended.   I couldn’t imagine not having our only child around every day. 

The February before his 2006 high school graduation, I saw an ad for a writing contest on the subject of motherhood.  I can’t recall specifically what it called for, but I took the opportunity to channel my dread and anxiety into an essay.

It undoubtedly provides no comfort to know that, for me, reality played out far worse than the dread.  I wished someone had told me how hard it would be to experience the separation.  Thankfully, someone did assure me it would get better.  And it did.  Someone else assured me that, like all adolescents who live in a wormhole for years, my son would come out on the other end, once again pleasant and respectful.  And he has.

To parents on this side of Orientation, pace yourselves.  While the college experience does go by quickly, it can be a long and arduous trek, as you and your child navigate your way though a changing relationship and work together to seek solutions to problems that inevitably arise.  But take comfort, little by little, you will adjust to your empty nest, your child will come out of the wormhole and so will you.

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May 5, 2010 · 7:20 am

As sweet as a simile in springtime

I will always remember the day in fifth grade when we learned about similes, metaphors and alliterations.  It was then that I knew I was different;  I was the only one enjoying the lesson.  I had no choice but to feign nonchalance to avoid ridicule.

Who would have imagined that day in Mrs. Sergent’s class that 40 years later there would exist, in a place called the Internet, a website of hip hop similes?  Yes, indeed.  I found it, a site described as “The best rap lyrics, hip hop similes, metaphors, clever battle raps and punchlines.”  The best.  Among all the sites for rap lyrics, hip hop similes, metaphors, clever battle raps and punchlines this one is “the best.”  Or so it claims.  Not surprisingly, it’s pretty off-color, especially to a middle aged word geek.  But I’m amused that it exists.

I’ve always enjoyed a good simile, and when I hear a good one I tuck it way for emergencies.

I once worked with a colorful Texan who used to describe being “as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”  Others I like include:

     “busy as a cross-eyed boy at a three-ring circus”

     “hard as putting pantyhose on a porcupine”

     “happy as a pig eating pancakes”

     “quick as a nun’s kiss”

     “off like a prom dress in May”

There’s another cute one going around, “my grandma’s teeth are like stars, they come out at night.”

Do you have a favorite?

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May 4, 2010 · 7:03 am

Why I love Facebook

Let me say upfront that I have some gripes about Facebook.  Just when this old dog is comfortable with functions and features, some so-called upgrade happens and she has to learn new tricks.  I resent that Wordscraper players I know have gotten debilitating viruses.  I seethe when a dialog box pops up with some new offering, such as linking my personal profile to some public doohickey and gives me only two choices, “Now” or “Later.”

Those grievances aside, I think Facebook is the coolest thing to come along in, oh I don’t know, maybe ever. 

I happen to have a lot of friends and I cherish every one.  It has taken a lot of effort over the years to maintain these friendships, but it’s been well worth the investment.  If I look at my life as a quilt, each square, stitch and wad of batting represents laughs shared, bread broken, hard times endured or secrets kept.

Before I make my point, I have a confession.  I really don’t like the telephone.  If there’s someone I haven’t seen or spoken with in a long time, it’s not only difficult but hugely frustrating to try and catch up on life over the phone.  You have to remember the high points, funny stories, details that might be of narrow interest.  Phone calls happen in real time.  Real time isn’t always practical.  Please don’t get me wrong.  If a friend in need called me, I’d spring into action.  And I’d never turn down or resent a call from a loved one.

Facebook gives us the opportunity to share the little things that connect us day by day and give our lives texture.  It brings us together during a blizzard when we might otherwise be feeling isolated.  It allows us to make each other laugh, rally around a cause or share our love of books, movies and music. 

Facebook has been criticized for providing an outlet for drooling out useless minutia.   Admittedly, some status updates read as humor columnist Gene Weingarten describes in this week’s column:  “I am currently squirting tepid whipped cream directly into my mouth from the can because my refrigerator is broken and this is the only source of nutrients I can find that has not yet spoiled…”  But 99 percent of the posts I read make me smile or laugh out loud.  I consider this a pretty enjoyable way to spend my time.  And it is my time because I can interact when it is convenient for me and not when there’s a pot boiling over on my stove.

Facebook has also brought me closer to people I’ve known my whole life but not necessarily well—such as some cousins whom I didn’t know well as a child because we were apart in years or miles.  It has been a blast hanging out with them online.

Those benefits aside, here’s the most remarkable thing about Facebook.

For years I have had a fantasy that all these smart, clever, witty friends I have could one day meet each other.  Up to now, I thought that would only happen at my funeral.

I am amazed to see my fantasy coming true—on Facebook.   All I have to do is throw out a comment and, voilà, a college chum in New Jersey is joking with a church friend now living in Barbados (who by the way happens to write a great blog called Living in Barbados).   An old Dewey Beach house-mate living in Florida is in dialogue with my best friend from seventh grade, now living in Arizona.  A colleague from 20 years ago, now living in Burbank, might be sharing a laugh with one of my distant in-laws living in Chihuahua.  I was waiting for a friend living in New York City but studying at l’Institute de Francais, to strike up a tête-à-tête with my former OB/GYN, now living in Panama; I haven’t given up on that.   

Nearly every day, the people in my life come together to share a laugh, often at my expense.

I love that.

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May 3, 2010 · 7:11 am

Fashion nonsense

You’ve got to love the lingo of the fashion industry.

Fashion is a heavy-hitting segment of the world economy, so it should be taken seriously.  But is it taking itself too seriously?

I am slow to keep up with the jargon.   Shrugs, jeggings, boyfriend jeans.  I am often garment-naïve until these styles are already passé.  I know tunic because Julius Caesar wore one.  As an aside, my husband was shocked recently to see a storefront sign advertising the “boyfriend crop.”  He thought it was an S&M device.

I try to listen to fashion consultant Stacy London, host of What Not to Wear, when she tells us how it is–what clothing styles we should wear for our body types or how to make an impression at that all-important social occasion.  Heaven knows, I need all the help I can get.

But there’s something about Stacy and her ilk that I just can’t take seriously when I hear:

“If you are wearing a sequined evening gown, you need a shoe…” or

“If you are short and stocky, you should wear a pant…”

A shoe?  A pant?  Just one?

OK, I know that’s accepted fashion-speak, but are we supposed to go along with this without snickering?

I’m not sure I can stand to listen to it anymore.  Maybe I’ll go out and buy an earmuff.

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May 1, 2010 · 6:52 am

Coming of age

Word Nymph has lived online for a whole month now.   That’s seven in blog years.

Her identity is evolving.  Before making her online debut, it took a month just to come up with a suitable name.  So what’s with this name, Word Nymph?  It must seem odd, especially to visitors who have recently stepped in.

The name was inspired by the purple-crowned wood nymph, a type of South American hummingbird.  There’s a loose parallel.  The Word Nymph speaks some Spanish and flaps her wings insanely fast, but it ends there.  Oh, and she likes purple.

The word “nymph” and the image it evokes—playful, not fully formed, like a fairy—comes from Greek mythology.

As the Word Nymph was creating her online persona, she imagined a park where all could play, squeal and intermingle over topics of common interest.   Words happen to be her fancy.

The Word Nymph also likes to laugh, mostly at herself, so she enjoys telling of her own ridiculous foibles and skewed observations. 

On this first day of May, she is thrilled to have so many playmates actively jumping in, bringing her grins and giggles every day.  She is looking forward to the summer, when she and her online buddies can kick off their Keds, nibble on Good Humor bars and keep up the folly.

Please remember – Word Nymph takes a break on Sundays.   Anyone for Swinging Statue?

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