Monthly Archives: May 2010

May 19, 2010 · 8:09 am

The other woman

My husband is in love with Ms. Garmin Nüvi.  It happened the moment he heard her voice through our new GPS. 

This came as a big surprise to both of us.  He is among the last to fall for any high tech gadget.  He has the most distant relationship with his cell phone.  After four years, he has yet to record a voice mail greeting and usually doesn’t recognize when it rings that someone is calling him.  He recently bought his first home computer but, alas, after several weeks, it still has no software.  He will probably never own a Blackberry.

He bought me the Garmin nüvi for Mother’s Day, intending it would be mine alone to take on business trips. 

Last weekend we went out of town for a wedding, so we took it along to try it out.  My husband was astonished that this woman, who spoke sternly and resolutely through the speaker, knew where we were going and, further, how to get us back on course when we stopped for gas. 

When she spoke, he answered.  “Thanks, sweetheart.”  When she said to turn right, he said, “I’ll do that, sweetheart.”  “What next, sweetheart?” 

As we headed out to the various wedding events, my husband asked me whether we were taking “her” with us.  It was starting to feel like a threesome.  Only she was the one being called “sweetheart.”

After the wedding Saturday night we went back to our hotel and stepped into the elevator.  An electronic voice announced, “Going up.”  My husband gasped, “It’s her!”

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May 18, 2010 · 8:03 am

Further study

One of my favorite movies is Finding Forrester.  The reasons are many—the plot, the cast, the characters and the writing among them—but mostly its treatment of language.  The movie is also a good resource for remembering the rule governing “farther” versus “further.”

Finding Forrester, released in 2000, was directed by Gus Van Sant, who also directed Good Will Hunting.  The entertainment site IMDB notes that the two movies essentially have the same plot:  “An underprivileged youth is discovered by a reclusive genius and is shepherded to his full potential. What GWH was to math, this film is to literature.”  If you haven’t seen it, or seen it lately, it’s worth watching or watching again.

Sean Connery plays a reclusive Pulitzer-prize winning author who very begrudgingly befriends a teenaged basketball player.  As it turns out, the teen, who hangs out on city streets, is interested in writing.

Jamal Wallace, played by Rob Brown, manages to get in to an elite private school on a basketball scholarship.  There is immediate tension between Jamal and his haughty English professor.

One day in class, the professor says to Jamal, “Perhaps your skills do reach farther than basketball.”

Jamal replies, “Further.”

“What?”

A student tries to stop Jamal from challenging the professor.  Jamal continues, “You said that my skills reached ‘farther’ than basketball. ‘Farther’ relates to distance, ‘further’ is a definition of degree. You should have said ‘further.’”

Great scene.  Good lesson.

I have plenty of friends and colleagues with whom I have debated “farther” versus “further.”  Some claim the two are completely interchangeable.  There are some sources that support that claim but sufficiently more that explain the distinction.  “Farther” applies to an advancement in physical distance while “further” means to a greater degree.  “Further” also applies to an advancement of time or figurative distance, e.g., to take the discussion a bit further.  It is also used as a verb, such as to further one’s education, as well as an adverb to mean additionally.

A colleague once told me she just doesn’t like “farther” so always uses “further.”

I am always puzzled when people just plain do not like a word and deem it better to use incorrectly a different word in its place. 

With the exception of profanity, there really are no bad words.  Every word has its purpose.  The key is to know the purpose and to use the word correctly. 

There are several examples of word rules I have trouble remembering.

Maybe one day there will be a movie that helps me with “bring” versus “take.”

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May 17, 2010 · 7:33 am

An apple a day

“You can’t burn a candle at both ends.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

These adages played over and over in my head last night as I slept fitfully.  Perhaps it was because I went to bed not knowing what I’d write about today or, more likely, because a sinus and bronchial infection I’d been running from for weeks finally caught up with me.

So in the midst of my fever, body aches, nausea, congestion and cough, all night long I was hallucinating medical sayings.

Added to the scrolling nocturnal banner of phrases was “Button up your overcoat,” which my mother had counseled me as we were chatting online the day before yesterday, when I told her I thought I was coming down with something.  Her advice was figurative, as it was 92 degrees where I was.  You know the song?  Button up your overcoat, when the wind is free, take good care of yourself, you belong to me.  She was trying to tell me to take better care of myself.

In the last four weeks, I have traveled more than 2,000 miles by car (it’s out there now leaking fatigue onto the driveway) and thousands more on germy planes.  Anything in between is a blur.

Right now I am going to have an apple, crawl back in bed and dream of something happy to write about tomorrow.

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May 15, 2010 · 8:39 am

Repeat redundancy

In my spare time I’ve been counting pleonasms.

Beginning with my own (that could be one), I am trying to become more aware of the human tendency toward redundancy.

Pleonasm is the use of word combinations that are unnecessary because the words mean the same thing, such as sum total or close proximity.  

Pleonasm isn’t necessarily wrong.  It has been shown in some cases to help clarify or reinforce an idea.

It’s hard to determne exactly when pleonasm is appropriate.  When the waitress tells me a dish includes Brie cheese or sherry wine, I never know whether she is committing a syntactic oversight or patronizing me pleonasmically (an adverb I just made up).

The legal vernacular is full of pleonasm.  Consider cease and desist, terms and conditions and null and void.

A few that make me shiver include ATM machine and PIN number, as well as Please R.S.V.P.

If your interest in this topic extends beyond these general observations, and if you are not afraid to see how many widely used examples are really out there, visit this blog of Pleonasms and Redundant Phrases.  Their list is so extensive it might make you fearful of speaking another word (is that one?)

If you want to make a little game out of it, go in and look at the list, pick one and then substitute a word.  For example, a bouquet of flowers – what else would be in a bouquet?  A bouquet of sneakers?

Try doing this with face mask, tuna fish or visible to the eye.  How about armed gunman?

Have fun with it.  After taking tomorrow off, I will be getting back to my regular routine.

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May 14, 2010 · 7:36 am

Comunidad

Unable to even spell TiVO, if I don’t watch something when it airs, I don’t see it.  When I get to see a show I like, it’s an extra special treat. 

I am out of town many Thursdays, so it’s rare when I get to view all that great programming everyone raves about.

Last night I watched a show I swore I’d watch every week when it premiered last fall.  I am still laughing. 

I first watched NBC’s Community because I am wholly devoted to Chevy Chase.  I recall it got terrible reviews but, no surprise, I loved it.  I just never saw it again for whatever reason. 

If you’re re a fan you already know the premise – it involves seven students belonging to a Spanish study group at a community college.  Community features a stellar cast.  Chevy Chase plays the former head of a moist towelette company and a member of the study group.  

The Spanish class is taught by Señor Chang who in last night’s episode reveals that he lacks the credentials to be a Spanish instructor and confesses he has been getting by on phrases from Sesame Street.  Oops; hope you hadn’t DVR’ed it.

In a separate plot line, one of the characters is defending his choice to stay in school instead of taking a job as a plumber.  He finishes his list of reasons for getting an education with “so I can understand HBO.”

Personally, I find the writing clever but there are other reasons the show speaks to me.  I was a Spanish major in college.  I also relate on an uncomfortable level to the character Annie, a Type-A optimist for whom the study group is the biggest part of her social life.   And I love moist towelettes.

Next week is the season finale and I’ll have to miss it.  I’ve seen two episodes, the first one and now the penultimate.   I guess this means I’ll have a summer of reruns to look forward to–provided I can become best friends with someone who has TiVO.

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May 13, 2010 · 7:54 am

iOld and iTired

The older I get, the more my thoughts begin with “back in my day . . .”

In this season of weddings and graduations, I think back on how little technology was available when I went through both. 

I made it through college using a typewriter, a percolator and a hot plate.  That’s it.  My husband and I planned our wedding using a three-ring binder, two packs of index cards and some Post-its.

This week, I have backed up my computer files, synced my calendar to my phone, taken and downloaded photos, updated my music collection for a car trip, and set up my new GPS system.

Tending to these tasks involved six different devices. 

It struck me yesterday–as I looked down at the tangled heap of cases, chargers, adapters and USB cables going every which way into the two computers that hum simultaneously, side by side, on my desk–that I too would need a recharge.

iTunes is running on the Dell, syncing the music with my iPod.  The HP laptop is putting my calendar on my iPhone.  The Nikon is plugged in, also to the Dell, and uploading photos to Shutterfly.  Directions from Mapquest are shooting out of both printers, just until I am weaned on to the Garmin.

Meanwhile, the Garmin is undergoing online product registration, but calls for a USB connection to complete the registration.  I see that no USB cable came with the Garmin.  While waiting on hold with Garmin’s customer service line, I type my dilemma in to a Search box.  It tells me the product comes with no USB cable; I need to buy one from their online store or use a cable from another appliance.  I try each and every cable before me, one by one, searching for compatibility.  Eureka, the cable from the WD external hard drive fits!  It’s always the last one you try.

What I wouldn’t give for my Polaroid Swinger.  The only cord it had attached it to my wrist.

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May 12, 2010 · 7:26 am

Record time

Road trips always get me thinking about music.  So I hope you will indulge me in another reflection brought on by time spent in the car with Rosebud, my trusty iPod. 

To put this one in proper perspective, I go back to the Spring of 1969.  I was in the third grade.  My father came home from a Washington, D.C., record store with two albums that changed my life.  Well, at least made a deep impression.

The first was Bill Cosby’s comedy album, To Russell, My Brother Whom I Slept With, and maybe one day we will get back to that.  I still have the whole thing memorized.

The other album was extraordinary for so many reasons.  First, it was the first double album I had ever seen.  Two whole records in one cover that split into two parts.  Pretty amazing.  Second, the cover was entirely white, including the title, The Beatles, in raised white lettering.  I had never seen anything so radical in my lifetime of nine years, especially in the 1960s when everything was shocking pink and lime green.  Finally, the album came with four 8×10 glossy head shots of the long-haired musicians.  When I discovered these, I swiped them and tacked them up on the brand new yellow and green daisy wallpaper in my room.

At age 9, my friends were listening to The Archies.  I don’t know what their parents listened to, likely Pat Boone or maybe the New Seekers, but I can guarantee no one’s parents listened to The Beatles’ so-called White Album, released in late 1968.  Mine did.  We all loved it.  Maybe it was the snappy piano intro of “Martha My Dear,” the show-tuney sound of “Honey Pie,” maybe the animal noises sprinkled into “Blackbird” and “Piggies.”  Or the simple melody and chord changes of “Mother Nature’s Son.”

The first song I memorized was “Rocky Raccoon.”  What a great story.  It was the first time I had ever heard of Gideon’s Bible.

At 9, I understood very little about what was going on in the world and didn’t understand intellectually what most of the lyrics meant.  Still, the music made me aware on some level.  As it does now, the song “Julia” tore my heart out, even though I had no concept of the nature or depth of the romantic angst the song captures.

When I listen to the White Album, as I did on a recent long car ride, the images of the 1960s flash before me.  The music and lyrics are relatively simple, but they evoke vivid memories.  Volkswagen Beetles, avant-garde displays in Georgetown storefront windows, the psychedelic pattern of my diary cover.  Men with long hair.  Incense.  Laugh-In, which I only saw in black in white until we got our first color television in 1970. 

There really is no point to this.  Except maybe to suggest you pull out your copy, pop it in (or on) and see where it takes you.

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May 11, 2010 · 7:48 am

Misguided mea culpa

“We did make a slight error in judgment.” 

This was the response of Thomas Chambers, owner of Chambers Funeral Home and Crematorium in Riverdale, Md., last week, after state officials discovered 40 human bodies piled up like trash in a garage.  I’ll spare you the disturbing details.

A public apology is never easy, but “a slight error in judgment” was the best explanation Mr. Chambers could come up with?  I doubt the families of his clients, victims actually, would consider this a slight error.  I trust they were outraged not only by this egregious act but by the man’s lack of compassion, not to mention his refusal to own up to the seriousness of the offense.  As if this weren’t bad enough, he added that the company “would like to stay in business.”  Of course the facility’s license was revoked. 

This story broke just as I was reading What Were They Thinking? by Steve Adubato, a media analyst and commentator who became an expert on crisis communication following his own public blunder while serving in the New Jersey legislature. 

In the book, Adubato examines more than 20 crises involving corporations, government agencies and high-profile individuals exhibiting varying skills in facing the public with a timely and convincing response.  He highlights the strategies of those who have handled crises well and he contrasts them with examples of those who, usually for lack of a plan, handled their public crises disastrously.

Throughout my career I have counseled clients who speak in the public realm, whether they are witnesses at a congressional hearing or fielding media questions about an unpopular corporate maneuver.  Failure to prepare ahead of the crisis—using carefully chosen words that show sincere acceptance of responsibility and assurance that appropriate corrective measures are underway—can cause any financial loss to be overshadowed by the cost of an unrecoverable loss of personal or professional trust.

On a much smaller scale, I have just had another occasion to question how public apologies are crafted.

As I was preparing this blog entry, my Internet connection failed.  I called my provider who said, “I am sorry you are experiencing problems.  I show an outage in your area.”  This reminded me of the person who stops short of an apology by saying “I am sorry if your feelings were hurt.”  It offers a hollow gesture without taking any responsibility. 

An hour later, my Internet connection resumed.  Then it failed again.  I called again and got a different representative who went a bit further:  “I apologize.”  Okay, that’s better.  “But there’s not much we can do.”

I really wanted to give her some tips but resisted.  Instead, I asked her if she knew what might have caused the outage. 

She said, “No, they don’t like to tell us that.”

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May 10, 2010 · 7:06 am

What it is

Sometimes it’s better to say nothing.

Today’s entry started as an advocacy piece calling for a ban on “it is what it is” from modern language.  “It is what it is” was descriptively clever when it we heard it for the first time a few years ago, but essentially it means nothing and has no real value in conversation in 2010.  Let’s all move on.

For me, writing a blog post generally involves three steps–having an idea, writing about it and, before posting, doing a quick check to be sure it hasn’t already been done.  I had finished up a piece on phrases that mean nothing.   “We’re here now” and “I’m just saying” are two more examples.

It turns out my idea was far from original.  Moreover, I was troubled that I hadn’t recognized more phrases for their nothingness.  Guess what?  “It is what it is” is at the top of the list of 10 Annoying Phrases That Serve No Purpose on the Asylum for All Mankind website.

Upon scanning Asylum’s list, I was troubled to see that I have used most of these nothing phrases.  In fact, just last Tuesday, I wrote, “Don’t get me wrong.”  Asylum asks,  “Isn’t it implicit in most human communication that your intention is always to be correctly understood?”

It just shows how easy it is to slip into sloppy patterns, especially when one person sets a bad example.

Thank you, Asylum for all Mankind, for issuing this wake-up call.  Going forward (last one on the list) I will be more careful.

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May 8, 2010 · 8:10 am

Pomp and circumstance

Tomorrow is the big day–my son’s college graduation.

In the movie Parenthood, the grandfather, played by Jason Robards, observes this about being a parent:  “You never get to spike the ball in the end zone and do your victory dance.  It never ends.”

There’s no doubt that’s true.  But tomorrow will be pretty darn close.

As much as I look forward to watching my son walk across that platform, there’s something else I am looking forward to.

Yes, the all-important commencement address.  I’ve heard very few in my lifetime.  My father was the commencement speaker at my high school graduation and, while he was a big hit, I’d heard him speak a few times before.  I didn’t participate in my own college graduation exercises because I was already working full time and didn’t consider it important.

This time of year, I enjoy reading the various commencement addresses.  These speeches are intended to give young adults advice for succeeding in their professional lives and motivate them to high achievement.

Let’s get real.  The graduates are sitting there numb from exams and term papers, perhaps a little hungover, and exhausted from clearing away the leaning towers of pizza boxes and other debris that’s piled up all year, in anticipation of their parents’ arrival.

A commencement speaker with any hope of stirring these men and women had better make it pithy, punchy and to the point.

I’m no Kurt Vonnegut  (who reportedly never delivered that famous Wear Sunscreen speech at MIT), but I’ve often wondered what I’d say if I were in front of an audience of graduating seniors. 

I thought back to something I did when my son went off to college four years ago.  As the nerdy, over-involved mother I am, I jotted a list of keys to success, typed it out and framed it to sit on the desk in his dorm room, so he could look at it every day and be inspired.  I think it came home sophomore year, never to be read again.

10 Secrets for Lifetime Success and Happiness

  1. Drink water – eight glasses a day will keep you healthy, inside and out.
  2. Read the paper – know what is going on in the world; be informed, keep a global perspective.
  3. Say your prayers – ask for guidance and give thanks.
  4. Say no – to options that are destructive to yourself and others.
  5. Say yes – to opportunities to do good for yourself and others.
  6. Count your blessings – at the end of every day, think of three things you are thankful for.  Even when you have a bad day, you will always find something good, however small.
  7. Make eye contact – look people in the eye; it will help you to be a good listener.
  8. Keep God at the center – let him, not you, be the focus of your life.
  9. Help the needy – be attuned to those who are vulnerable and tend to them.
  10. Call your mother – she worries.

Maybe I’d add “watch your grammar.” 

If you had one piece of advice for today’s college graduate—perhaps something that has worked for you or something you would have done differently—what would it be?

In the meantime, I will enjoy the big day and might even do a little victory dance.

Reminder:  Word Nymph doesn’t post on Sunday.  Did I mention my son is graduating?

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