I will always remember the day in fifth grade when we learned about similes, metaphors and alliterations. It was then that I knew I was different; I was the only one enjoying the lesson. I had no choice but to feign nonchalance to avoid ridicule.
Who would have imagined that day in Mrs. Sergent’s class that 40 years later there would exist, in a place called the Internet, a website of hip hop similes? Yes, indeed. I found it, a site described as “The best rap lyrics, hip hop similes, metaphors, clever battle raps and punchlines.” The best. Among all the sites for rap lyrics, hip hop similes, metaphors, clever battle raps and punchlines this one is “the best.” Or so it claims. Not surprisingly, it’s pretty off-color, especially to a middle aged word geek. But I’m amused that it exists.
I’ve always enjoyed a good simile, and when I hear a good one I tuck it way for emergencies.
I once worked with a colorful Texan who used to describe being “as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” Others I like include:
“busy as a cross-eyed boy at a three-ring circus”
“hard as putting pantyhose on a porcupine”
“happy as a pig eating pancakes”
“quick as a nun’s kiss”
“off like a prom dress in May”
There’s another cute one going around, “my grandma’s teeth are like stars, they come out at night.”
Do you have a favorite?